zachary nocera

franklyn virtue

2008-06-24T13:57:00.000-07:00

Franklyn Virtue is cursed. There's a room in the basement of the house his grandfather built that Franklyn Virtue must never leave. Off in the corner, away from the windows, away from the staircase, Franklyn Virtue constructed a treadmill. He can't remember a time when he wasn't in this room. He can't remember the time before he constructed the treadmill. Franklyn can't remember the time he used to spend outside, can't remember how the sun felt or how the wind smelled after it rained. Franklyn Virtue can't remember what he did with his days before he found out that his feet control time. All he knows is that if he isn't walking forward, if his feet aren't moving, one foot in front of the other, if he's not doing this at a normal pace, time doesn't move correctly. He doesn't know how he knows but he's certain that if he were to get off this treadmill, if he were to stop walking, even just long enough to make dinner or use the washroom, the entire world would stop spinning. Franklyn Virtue can do nothing but walk in place. He's been doing this his entire life.

In the basement of the house his grandfather built, Franklyn Virtue is sweating again. But the basement is cool and if Franklyn would just breathe a little slower, he'll soon stop. This happens when Franklyn starts thinking about his task. When he lets himself remember why he's on this treadmill, why he can't ever stop walking, how all of those people that he assumes are living their lives outside of the house his grandfather built would stop existing if he didn't do his duty, he starts to sweat. Once he lets his mind go, once he zones out to the tune of the treadmill turning and his feet forcing the conveyer to slow slightly every time they touch down, then he'll again forget the importance of his life and just do what he knows he needs to. But right now, Franklyn Virtue is sweating again.

new year's eve

2008-06-18T14:09:00.000-07:00

New Year’s Eve used to be a time for celebration. New Year’s Eve used to be a time when everyone would put on hats and buy noise makers and together as a Nation would watch the new day bring in the new year. Millions watched thousands watch a ball drop down as the last minute of the end ticked away to the new. There was singing and drinking as they welcomed this new beginning, filled with new promises and new hopes. This was a happy time. There was confetti and kissing, and everyone would sing.

There would be resolutions. The people would set a goal for them to reach sometime during this new year. Losing weight or quitting smoking or cutting back on cursing. Goals to make themselves feel better or look better. They would use this celebration to jump start the change they wanted to make.

New Year’s Eve used to be a time for celebration. But not now. Not on December 31st of year 3. Not when we are all about to begin year 2. Not with only 36 months left until the end of the world.

choking

2008-06-17T12:22:00.000-07:00

Donald can’t breathe. He’s grabbing at his throat, stretching his neck, trying without success to clear an airway. Donald is close to death. His face is purple and blue, his eyes are bloodshot, tears running down his cheek. He’s smiling.

Donald’s door is shut and locked and his mother downstairs won’t be calling him for dinner any time soon. On the walls of Donald’s room are posters of comic book heroes, of popular movies. The television is on and the volume is loud. On TV, there are two men in a wrestling ring. The commentator says, “It's pandemonium here.”

Donald tries to speak and all that comes out is a gurgle. His eyes are nearly closed and he's fighting to stay conscious. My grip around his neck tightens. He manages to tap my shoulder and I release.

He coughs and rubs his eyes.

I laugh and say, "My turn."

two left feet

2008-03-13T22:17:00.002-07:00

Poor little Heather Melnitz has two left feet. Her mother orders shoes directly from the distributer. She has to repeat herself when she tells the company that she would like to order two pairs of the same shoe. That she would like them to leave out the right shoes. Please just send the two left ones. Poor old Mother Melnitz has to admit to this company that she gave birth to the girl with two left feet. The one that they saw on that nightly news show. "No," she says, "my daughter does not have balance issue." "No," she says, "you don't have to donate these to us." "No, you will not get free advertising on our next talk show appearance." "Yes, she can dance."

superheroes

2008-02-11T13:27:00.001-08:00

Imagine for a second that all those crazies in the crazy house have super powers. That all of them could be a different superhero. That this is why some of them aren’t afraid of electric shock. That electric shock can’t hurt a superhero with a super power that controls fields of electricity. Imagine that all that lobotomies do is make these superheroes forget that they are superheroes. That the only way to cure these crazies is to make them believe that they are crazy. That group therapy and individual therapy and electric shock therapy turns superheroes into mental patients into lobotomy cases into normal people. Imagine that the man with the mole and the bushy eyebrows really can breathe underwater. That the woman with the bald spots in her hair really is telekinetic. That when she’s alone she spends her time rearranging her room while she sits in the corner. Imagine for a second that all of this is real and you the way you make your money is you take these powers away from them.

oprah

2008-02-04T23:56:00.000-08:00

Standing in the middle of a sea of signs, signs reading “Hope,” signs reading “Change,” signs reading “I Love Oprah,” Oprah Winfrey rallies the crowd. Oprah’s talking about the struggle for civil and women’s rights and she’s telling all these people with their signs and cell phone cameras that this election is what the struggle was for. That the two front runners represent this victory. One of the most powerful women in the world is referring to the frenzied audience as “California” and letting them know that she’s on their level, on their side when she tells them, “Now we are free.” She’s repeating, “I’m a free woman, I’m a free woman” and the crowd is cheering just as they did when she screamed, “You get a car, you get a car.”

helicopters

2008-02-04T14:24:00.001-08:00

One thing you don’t get used to are the helicopters. You can drown out the sirens. You can drown out the cars, the yelling, the talking, the screeching tires. All those, you can forget to listen to. The helicopters, they’re always there. They’re traffic watchers, they’re people watchers. These helicopters, they’re criminal chasers. If you hear a helicopter, then another, then another, you know all the traffic watchers, the News 5 Eyes in the Sky, the LAPD, they’re all searching for the one person who fled the scene. They’re looking right over your house.

rain

2008-01-28T15:50:00.001-08:00

All the roads are wet and all the lights are bouncing off the water and the lines in the street are hidden underneath it all. This city isn’t made for rain. All the cars on the road, they’re going slower than normal and nobody is honking. In the gutters and the crosswalks, water is building up and the sewers are already overflowing and it’s impossible to tell where each street begins. All the cars are using headlights and their wipers are going too fast and the drivers of the slow cars are leaning closer to the road trying to see what lane they are in.

famous

2008-01-16T23:23:00.000-08:00

In her head she’s Danica McKeller, she’s Jodie Sweetin. This girl with the skirt and the strut and the clutch, in her head, she’s somebody who used to be somebody. She’s important. This girl and her dog and her makeup, she wants people to look at her. She wants people to want to know who she is. In her head, she’s already been famous.

strangers

2008-01-16T12:47:00.000-08:00

Inside everybody are strangers. All these strangers, they’re all already friends. They’re walking and laughing and never once have to look where they’re going. Inside, all of a sudden, it’s 6th grade. All of sudden you’re the new kid again and all these strangers know it. They’re peeking the way you would peek in a doctor’s waiting room. The way you think nobody can notice you doing it. Inside they’re glancing up from their magazines, they’re whispering to their friends, each of them, wondering what kind of disease you have or checkup you need.

unseasonable

2008-01-15T01:00:00.000-08:00

Outside, nobody realizes that it’s winter. It’s sunny and warm and nobody is wearing a jacket. Outside, nobody is thinking about their hometown and the snow it’s getting. Nobody is worried about their morning commute. Nobody wonders if school will be canceled. Nobody checked the weather. Outside, people are in sunglasses and shorts and nobody cares what month it is.

priority

2008-01-13T23:47:00.000-08:00

Now the only thing that matters is your parking spot.

drive

2008-01-13T23:44:00.000-08:00

Every drive is an hour backwards. Every state line, every welcome to, there’s a chance of living that hour over again. Every day in the car you move further into the past. All those hours you’ve gained, those are hours to do whatever you want. Those are your chance to see a movie, your chance to read a book, your chance to sleep. Those free hours, those are yours.

xmas

2007-12-24T11:45:00.000-08:00

Hi. This is the first I've used this blog to blog but this is just to say that I won't be updating for a while. After Christmas, I'll be moving West for grad school. Once I get settled in and maybe get a computer hooked up, I'll be back with writings from the west coast. Until then, enjoy whatever holiday you feel like enjoying.

moving

2007-12-19T12:33:00.000-08:00

The first step to moving is to clean the place you’re leaving. Get rid of everything you don't want to take with you. All of the clothes that you haven’t worn in years, those can all go to Goodwill. See what friends want what books you’ve read. Give away everything you can. And the rest, get a big trash bag. Throw away old papers, old socks, old posters, anything that can’t be used. Get your life small enough to fit in the back of a car. Forget the TV, forget the collectibles, forget everything that you’ve surrounded yourself with. Forget anything that won’t fit.

driveway

2007-12-17T12:27:00.000-08:00

It’s four in the morning and this man is already shoveling the snow from his driveway. He’s already worried about his morning commute. The commute that doesn’t happen for another three hours. He’s running his car, defrosting all the windows, making sure the headlights aren’t covered. His hands are stained white from all the salt he’s throwing around the car, on the sidewalk. His driveway is bare and ready and he goes back to sleep hoping it doesn’t snow any more.

the old man

2007-12-12T12:37:00.000-08:00

There’s an old man that lives four houses down and the neighbors think he’s crazy. When he’s out walking or checking the mailbox or sitting on the porch, the parents in the neighborhood make small talk with him. They make small talk so that later they can call the other neighbors and laugh together. They ask him about his late wife and the old man tells them that he was never married. The parents, they tell him that they remember seeing her in the garden out back, the garden that’s now just weeds and grass and three or four dying tomato plants and the old man just bunches up his face and continues walking or checking the mail or sitting on the porch. The parents make sure to remember all of it for their phone calls later.

Any kid brave enough to talk to the old man, that’s when they’ll learn the most amazing things. That’s when the old man will talk about his travels and tell any kid brave enough how interesting and scary the rest of the world really is. He’ll tell any kid this because kids don’t ask about wives or grandchildren. Kids don’t care about those things.

When the kid brave enough to talk to the old man sidesteps up to his porch, the old man offers lemonade and sugar cookies but the kid isn’t interested in that. Every story starts out the same for the old man. He starts, “Did your parents ever tell you that…” And this story, this one goes, “Did your parents ever tell you that there are dogs in Mexico that can teach you Spanish.” And the kid sits in the chair next to him. This is how this kid knows so many things that his grandparents don’t.

the boy

2007-12-11T13:13:00.000-08:00

The boy knows things that his grandparents don’t. The boy knows that when the tree leaves turn inside out, the tree is telling everyone to get inside, that it’s going to rain soon. The boy knows that Mr. Rogers can hear you when you answer his questions. The boy knows this and he knows they don’t.

His grandparents are inside, one watching her stories, one in the basement, and the boy sits on the stoop and watches ants eat a watermelon shell. The boy knows that these ants can understand him. He tells them to hurry and get their fill. That when his grandma is done with her story, she’ll come and throw them away. He tells them to take some home with them. They say thank you.

joshua

2007-12-10T12:05:00.000-08:00

Joshua and Joshua are in the living room pretending that the space under the coffee table is the Bat Cave. In the Bat Cave, there’s a plane and motorcycle and a car with cardboard bat ears taped to the end. Upstairs, on the top of the coffee table, Bruce Wayne doesn’t have his bat suit on. He’s lying on the hardwood floor, waiting for Joshua and Joshua to decide who gets to play Joker.

Joshua and Joshua are cousins and their parents are in the other room talking about a funeral and what time they should get there and how nice it is to see each other but how they wish they could’ve visited under different circumstances. In the living room, the Joshuas are trying to remember who was Joker last time when a mom yells to Joshua Edward to get ready to leave and one Joshua yells back and they both decide that they’ll play when they get home.

diner

2007-12-06T10:49:00.001-08:00

This old man has been listening to everything we’ve been saying. He’s pretending to read the paper and lifting his head any time he hears something new. We’re talking about hotel prices and routes and what it’s going to be like when we get there and after every sentence, the old man looks up, right at me, and then down again. More coffee and more cream and more talking for the eaves dropper. Before we leave, he lifts his head again and tells me he knows a lot about Los Angeles. This old man with crossed eyes and missing teeth, he leans forward and asks me if I know what movie was shot there. He’s grinning and asking me if I ever heard of Alfred Hitchcock. And if I ever heard of Alfred Hitchcock, have I ever heard of this movie, “The Birds.” That movie, he says, was filmed in Los Angeles.

snow day

2007-12-05T11:00:00.001-08:00

Every kid is gathered around the television biting their fingernails, waiting for their school to be called. Outside the snow keeps falling and every kid knows that's a good sign. On the television, on the news, the weatherman is saying how this snow will continue throughout the day. He's saying that they've already had a number of school cancellations and to keep watching the updates, scrolling on the bottom of the screen. The kids keep watching. After every commercial, before getting back to regular reporting, a jingle plays and a penguin dances and new school cancellations are reported and every kid takes one more look before getting ready for school.

trip

2007-12-04T13:49:00.001-08:00

Find every book on tape you can. Anything that will make the time go faster. Something funny or something with characters and different voices. Find new music and old music and anything you can sing along with. Find enough to fill thirty-five hours. Measure every book on tape in miles. You’ll need 2,396 books on tape.

money

2007-12-03T11:36:00.002-08:00

Now everything has a price tag. Every trip is about gas, is about food. Every night out is about covers, is about tips. Everything is measured in bills, in coins, in charge cards. Every chance I get I check my bank account and regret spending any kind of money.

snow

2007-12-03T11:36:00.001-08:00

The wind is blowing hard and the snow is falling sideways and it might never hit the ground.

new clothes

2007-11-29T11:24:00.000-08:00

I have to buy all new clothes. These shirts I’ve been wearing, they just won’t do. Even if they didn’t have holes or stains under the armpits. Even if they didn’t smell weird, even then I’d still have to get rid of them. Those kind of shirts won’t fly there. What I need is something with a collar, with buttons. I need something that a tie could fit on. A shirt that people wear to their jobs or on dates. That’s the sort of shirt I need.