franklyn virtue

Franklyn Virtue is cursed. There's a room in the basement of the house his grandfather built that Franklyn Virtue must never leave. Off in the corner, away from the windows, away from the staircase, Franklyn Virtue constructed a treadmill. He can't remember a time when he wasn't in this room. He can't remember the time before he constructed the treadmill. Franklyn can't remember the time he used to spend outside, can't remember how the sun felt or how the wind smelled after it rained. Franklyn Virtue can't remember what he did with his days before he found out that his feet control time. All he knows is that if he isn't walking forward, if his feet aren't moving, one foot in front of the other, if he's not doing this at a normal pace, time doesn't move correctly. He doesn't know how he knows but he's certain that if he were to get off this treadmill, if he were to stop walking, even just long enough to make dinner or use the washroom, the entire world would stop spinning. Franklyn Virtue can do nothing but walk in place. He's been doing this his entire life.

In the basement of the house his grandfather built, Franklyn Virtue is sweating again. But the basement is cool and if Franklyn would just breathe a little slower, he'll soon stop. This happens when Franklyn starts thinking about his task. When he lets himself remember why he's on this treadmill, why he can't ever stop walking, how all of those people that he assumes are living their lives outside of the house his grandfather built would stop existing if he didn't do his duty, he starts to sweat. Once he lets his mind go, once he zones out to the tune of the treadmill turning and his feet forcing the conveyer to slow slightly every time they touch down, then he'll again forget the importance of his life and just do what he knows he needs to. But right now, Franklyn Virtue is sweating again.

new year's eve

New Year’s Eve used to be a time for celebration. New Year’s Eve used to be a time when everyone would put on hats and buy noise makers and together as a Nation would watch the new day bring in the new year. Millions watched thousands watch a ball drop down as the last minute of the end ticked away to the new. There was singing and drinking as they welcomed this new beginning, filled with new promises and new hopes. This was a happy time. There was confetti and kissing, and everyone would sing.

There would be resolutions. The people would set a goal for them to reach sometime during this new year. Losing weight or quitting smoking or cutting back on cursing. Goals to make themselves feel better or look better. They would use this celebration to jump start the change they wanted to make.

New Year’s Eve used to be a time for celebration. But not now. Not on December 31st of year 3. Not when we are all about to begin year 2. Not with only 36 months left until the end of the world.

choking

Donald can’t breathe. He’s grabbing at his throat, stretching his neck, trying without success to clear an airway. Donald is close to death. His face is purple and blue, his eyes are bloodshot, tears running down his cheek. He’s smiling.

Donald’s door is shut and locked and his mother downstairs won’t be calling him for dinner any time soon. On the walls of Donald’s room are posters of comic book heroes, of popular movies. The television is on and the volume is loud. On TV, there are two men in a wrestling ring. The commentator says, “It's pandemonium here.”

Donald tries to speak and all that comes out is a gurgle. His eyes are nearly closed and he's fighting to stay conscious. My grip around his neck tightens. He manages to tap my shoulder and I release.

He coughs and rubs his eyes.

I laugh and say, "My turn."

two left feet

Poor little Heather Melnitz has two left feet. Her mother orders shoes directly from the distributer. She has to repeat herself when she tells the company that she would like to order two pairs of the same shoe. That she would like them to leave out the right shoes. Please just send the two left ones. Poor old Mother Melnitz has to admit to this company that she gave birth to the girl with two left feet. The one that they saw on that nightly news show. "No," she says, "my daughter does not have balance issue." "No," she says, "you don't have to donate these to us." "No, you will not get free advertising on our next talk show appearance." "Yes, she can dance."

superheroes

Imagine for a second that all those crazies in the crazy house have super powers. That all of them could be a different superhero. That this is why some of them aren’t afraid of electric shock. That electric shock can’t hurt a superhero with a super power that controls fields of electricity. Imagine that all that lobotomies do is make these superheroes forget that they are superheroes. That the only way to cure these crazies is to make them believe that they are crazy. That group therapy and individual therapy and electric shock therapy turns superheroes into mental patients into lobotomy cases into normal people. Imagine that the man with the mole and the bushy eyebrows really can breathe underwater. That the woman with the bald spots in her hair really is telekinetic. That when she’s alone she spends her time rearranging her room while she sits in the corner. Imagine for a second that all of this is real and you the way you make your money is you take these powers away from them.

oprah

Standing in the middle of a sea of signs, signs reading “Hope,” signs reading “Change,” signs reading “I Love Oprah,” Oprah Winfrey rallies the crowd. Oprah’s talking about the struggle for civil and women’s rights and she’s telling all these people with their signs and cell phone cameras that this election is what the struggle was for. That the two front runners represent this victory. One of the most powerful women in the world is referring to the frenzied audience as “California” and letting them know that she’s on their level, on their side when she tells them, “Now we are free.” She’s repeating, “I’m a free woman, I’m a free woman” and the crowd is cheering just as they did when she screamed, “You get a car, you get a car.”

helicopters

One thing you don’t get used to are the helicopters. You can drown out the sirens. You can drown out the cars, the yelling, the talking, the screeching tires. All those, you can forget to listen to. The helicopters, they’re always there. They’re traffic watchers, they’re people watchers. These helicopters, they’re criminal chasers. If you hear a helicopter, then another, then another, you know all the traffic watchers, the News 5 Eyes in the Sky, the LAPD, they’re all searching for the one person who fled the scene. They’re looking right over your house.